"There are two wolves fighting in a man's heart. One is called Good. The other, Evil." - from a movie whose name has escaped me
I took an interesting course recently. It involved sitting cross-legged on the floor, chewing thoughtfully on popcorn, watching movies and documentaries intently, and having heated, stimulating discussions about said movies and documentaries with about 10 other like-minded individuals. 'Film and conflict', the course was called. Until then, I would never have considered 'G. I. Jane' a topic for intellectual, or at least scholarly, debate. Which brings me to the subject of today's blog. One of the war films we watched was 'Apocalypse Now'. No words can truly describe how brilliant that movie is. That is my opinion, of course, and you do not have to agree with it. And no, I do not work for Francis Ford Coppola. But you will at least agree that it is one of those movies that one watches at least two...or five times. But I digress.
In one jungle scene, the Director plays with lighting to expose one half of the protagonist's face and leave the other half hidden by shadow, by darkness. This, to me, is the ultimate representation of the human psyche and serves as one of the most striking thing about 'Apocalypse Now': it captures the battle that goes on within every living human being - that between good and bad.
I have grown up hearing - from mother, father, church, school, society - about the virtues of doing good by others and the dire consequences of doing bad. At some point during my tender years, I actually believed that God allocated everyone a large white sheet at birth. Commit a sin and God would place a tiny black dot on your sheet. By the time I was 10, I strongly believed that my sheet was already half black. Not that I sinned much then. As I grew up, I started questioning what mother, father, church, school and society fed my young mind. When I was about 19, I went through a major "Does God really exist and how do we know it" crisis. Well, it wasn't really a crisis but at 19, everything is a crisis. Anyway. I questioned religion, I demanded proof, I wanted answers. Did we have control over our lives or was our fate already decided by some powerful external factors? If God existed, why did bad things happen to good people? Why did innocent children suffer; why did evil people get prosperous? How could a poor man who stole a goat to feed 7 hungry mouths get 14 years jail-time, while a greedy pot-bellied politician who stole a billion from tax-payers went scot-free? My mother grew irritated; my friend suggested that I read a book that apparently had the answers to my questions. My mother got over her irritation and I did not get around to reading the recommended book. Eventually, however, I stopped questioning.
I decided that some people are good, that some people are bad, that sometimes good people do bad things, and other times bad people do good things. I decided that God existed; but in different forms and with different meaning for different people. I decided that every human being has free-will: the independence to decide on how to act and how to treat others. I also realised that luck, opportunity, attitude, hard work, and more luck do play a role in bringing good (success) to a person's life. However, I am still convinced that perhaps we are all sinners. But in the spirit of the proclamation by the pigs in George Orwell's Animal Farm, I would argue that all people are evil but some people are more evil than others.
Still, sometimes I do wonder. Are human beings infinitely evil or ultimately good? How can a man rape a two year old girl and yet stand tall, put his head up and call himself a man? How does a woman who benefits from trading in other humans sleep at night? How could you ignore me at my moment of suffering? Why didn't I help the man who was being beaten by muggers on the streets?
I took an interesting course recently. It involved sitting cross-legged on the floor, chewing thoughtfully on popcorn, watching movies and documentaries intently, and having heated, stimulating discussions about said movies and documentaries with about 10 other like-minded individuals. 'Film and conflict', the course was called. Until then, I would never have considered 'G. I. Jane' a topic for intellectual, or at least scholarly, debate. Which brings me to the subject of today's blog. One of the war films we watched was 'Apocalypse Now'. No words can truly describe how brilliant that movie is. That is my opinion, of course, and you do not have to agree with it. And no, I do not work for Francis Ford Coppola. But you will at least agree that it is one of those movies that one watches at least two...or five times. But I digress.
In one jungle scene, the Director plays with lighting to expose one half of the protagonist's face and leave the other half hidden by shadow, by darkness. This, to me, is the ultimate representation of the human psyche and serves as one of the most striking thing about 'Apocalypse Now': it captures the battle that goes on within every living human being - that between good and bad.
I have grown up hearing - from mother, father, church, school, society - about the virtues of doing good by others and the dire consequences of doing bad. At some point during my tender years, I actually believed that God allocated everyone a large white sheet at birth. Commit a sin and God would place a tiny black dot on your sheet. By the time I was 10, I strongly believed that my sheet was already half black. Not that I sinned much then. As I grew up, I started questioning what mother, father, church, school and society fed my young mind. When I was about 19, I went through a major "Does God really exist and how do we know it" crisis. Well, it wasn't really a crisis but at 19, everything is a crisis. Anyway. I questioned religion, I demanded proof, I wanted answers. Did we have control over our lives or was our fate already decided by some powerful external factors? If God existed, why did bad things happen to good people? Why did innocent children suffer; why did evil people get prosperous? How could a poor man who stole a goat to feed 7 hungry mouths get 14 years jail-time, while a greedy pot-bellied politician who stole a billion from tax-payers went scot-free? My mother grew irritated; my friend suggested that I read a book that apparently had the answers to my questions. My mother got over her irritation and I did not get around to reading the recommended book. Eventually, however, I stopped questioning.
I decided that some people are good, that some people are bad, that sometimes good people do bad things, and other times bad people do good things. I decided that God existed; but in different forms and with different meaning for different people. I decided that every human being has free-will: the independence to decide on how to act and how to treat others. I also realised that luck, opportunity, attitude, hard work, and more luck do play a role in bringing good (success) to a person's life. However, I am still convinced that perhaps we are all sinners. But in the spirit of the proclamation by the pigs in George Orwell's Animal Farm, I would argue that all people are evil but some people are more evil than others.
Still, sometimes I do wonder. Are human beings infinitely evil or ultimately good? How can a man rape a two year old girl and yet stand tall, put his head up and call himself a man? How does a woman who benefits from trading in other humans sleep at night? How could you ignore me at my moment of suffering? Why didn't I help the man who was being beaten by muggers on the streets?
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